Little League Fan Prints

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

"The Norse berserkers were a lot like your dads at Little League games. Just less intense."

Little League in the Trump era

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Sheltering in place.

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Monster Baseball

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."