Little Historian Gifts

Frank and Ernie's Lesser Known History. Lemonade. Custer's first stand.

'Can I still be a Yankee Doodle Dandy even though my birthday is May 25th?'

On a school trip to a museum, a child takes the head of a horse statue and runs through the museum with it.

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

Archimedes statue with a lever

A trevor of trainspotters

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

A caveman attempting to make a cart

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

'It says the artist got the idea while indulging in one of his hobbies.'

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

'I draw on the walls and get time out. They do it and get famous!'

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

'Helen went on Facebook and launched a thousand ships.'

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

Style

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

"Who gives a crap if it's not clear in 246 years?"

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

Ghak was a hunter, Zhoomba was a gatherer and Fnok was a sponger.