Little Brawlers Pillows

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Beware of teething baby.'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Climbing with the baby

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

Babies

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Winter Clothing'

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!

'Well, your wife is now a den mother! You have triplets!'

"When do I get my phone call"

The First Supper

Handbags at dawn. A typical bout of fisticuffs on the rugby pitch.

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

"There's a grouch on my couch."

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'He's at the 'terrible twos' stage.'

Burnt Out Dolls' House

Bar bouncer resumes.

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

As you like it - Parisians who will never be under police supervision

"And the awards for Best Actor in a Leading Role, Best Costume Design, and Best Sund Coordination... the Anvil!"

"But it's been five whole minutes! How can you still be mad?"

'Occupational hazard.'

'Punch, kick, grapple, bite.' - 'Them's fightin' words!'