Litter Critic T-Shirts

"I love this time of year when the leaves hide the empty burger boxes, beer cans, chocolate wrappers..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Thomas Mann.

First Novels.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Blue Stockings

"Now I really hate poetry."

Why we need poetry. . .

German Expressionist Breakfast

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Shakespeare was bisexual

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

The Proust of Twitter

"Oh, this old thing?"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"I want you to meet What's-His-Name, the much-misunderstood writer."