Literary Superstar Pillows

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Do me next."

Honoré de Balzac

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

"Everybody gets a raise."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I'm in children's books, myself."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

Jorge Luis Borges

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

Edgar Allan Poe

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."