Literary Speedster Mugs

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Treasure Island Book.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."