Literary Monster Whisperer T-Shirts

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Your shoe's untied.'

The Worm Charmer

Turtle Hat

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

'I could eat you.'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

Business man sees himself as a shark

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Where are you going?'

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

'Please repeat, your last transmission was garbled.'

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

"Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on."