Literary Humor Lovers Gifts

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

Bell boy!

'Since he just ate lunch, we never know if he'll be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Naugahyde.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

Multi-Generational Books

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Jack London

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Kultural K9's.

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Eugene Ionesco

"Call me Ishmael."

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."