Literary Humor Fans Gifts

Athletic clothes...shoes: 'What do you have for sitting on a wall?'

Ruth and her new cordless telephone.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

Raised by Dogs

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Stairlift around cliff face.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Multi-Generational Books

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Unemotional Support Animal

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Jack London

'Hon, I'm home!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Stormy weather

Tequila Mockingbird

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Very Presidential."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Cheating Death.

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."