Literary Escape Artist T-Shirts

'I have great hopes for my next alibi -- I'm taking a creative writing course.'

"Where do you keep the escapist literature?"

Day 98 of self-isolation and the 'to-be-read' pile of books is slowly going down.

Escape

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

Addicted to reading

Nesting dolls stranded on an island send out nesting bottles with messages in each of them.

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

Tweaking the CV.

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

Chairmen of the Bored

Desert Island Fantasies

Ostrich's head buried into a pile of sand containing a woman

Undignified Exits of the Planet World: Geronimo!

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was fine. I just don't like any of you and don't want to be here."

School holidays

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

Crib Escape

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"