Literary Diver Pillows

The Jacques Cousteau Story

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

The Bookworm

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Reading my Critics

Jean-Paul Sartre

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Distractions Of The Great

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

The intellectual.

Iris Murdoch

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

Thomas Hardy

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Jack London

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Isabel Allende

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."