Lite Bite Lover Pillows

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Margarita

Dummies Books.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Clown Delivering Babies.

She was 'bright'. He kept it 'light'. They couldn't help but be attracted to each other.

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

We regret to inform you that your poem, "The Ramen," does not meet our publishing needs at this time. The short, frustrating career of Edgar Allan Typoe.

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

The Critic...

'Aww, mom! Pineapple upside down cake? ...Again?'

"I often get the feeling that I'm going to die young."

'It appears to be a genuine bat-out-of-hell.'

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

'Say, Dad - this story is the same as last night's story.'

Wee Folks Daycare

Baby thinks: I smile, they smile. I laugh, they laugh. I think they're teachable!

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

Burp!

"I can't wait to put them on."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

Planting bulbs - planting light bulbs.

The White Whale Mounted On The Wall

'You seemed keen enough yesterday when I suggested an evening of soft lights and sweet music!'

The turning on the lights ceremony

"I can't be sure, but I think Dracula is the bat holding the phone."

World Religions 101. Today's lecture is about minor denominations --- Stop calling it "sects education"!