Listener Of Tall Tales T-Shirts

"Tell me about your chimney sweeping, uncle."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'It was this big. I swear'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Good boy

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

Circus trousers

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

The giraffe-tamer.

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'