Listener Of Tall Tales Gifts

"Tell me about your chimney sweeping, uncle."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'It was this big. I swear'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Good boy

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

Circus trousers

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

The giraffe-tamer.