Linguistic Rivals Appreciator Gifts

"You better get this through your thick shells. WE are the best idiom for insanity!"

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Witch's spell check.

"Well, geez, you don't need to bite my hea.."

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

Couple in Grey

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

Gee, this is my lucky night. You see, when it comes to women, I'm not a leg man; I'm not a breast man; I'm a punctuation man. ! !

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Simultaneous translation.

Business Cliches

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

Back Down

Elderly couple

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'I'm still beautiful you know . . . you just have to read between the lines.'

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi

'Mail' and 'Femail' mailbags.

"We never had a 'last conversation,' but if we had, you’d have lost."