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Rare Books

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

"He's deliciously vintage."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

Trillion dollar Dream Merchants - on a screen near you.

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

Louis XIV

'This is never a good sign when you ask the wine steward for the vintage.'

'Twenty-five years for buying a Chateau Beychevelle from out-of-state: On the bright side, when you get out, it'll be ready to drink.'

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

Have you seen this toaster?

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

"I'm still looking, sir."

"Do you have anywhere our friends won't have discovered?"

'The designer stubble is getting a little out of hand Rasputin!'

'I wouldn't do that. First editions are worth big bucks.'

Members only.

Garage sale

A man finds the first edition of the Ten Commandments written on stone tablets in a bookstore.