Limb Replacement Mugs

'...Somebody called Bernard Matthews got the sponsorship deal.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

"Botox."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'You do Botox?'

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

Fumes from furniture

'You're going to need a hip-hoperation.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"I am calling a meeting...I am calling it a waste of time."

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"I've had a busy week. I had my hip and iPhone upgraded."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

Botox sharpei

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Speaking as an experienced plastic surgeon, believe me when I tell you there's no such thing as a "snout job."

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.