Likability Strategist T-Shirts

"Sure, he's pulverizing your face, but you're chipping away at his likability."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Separations.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'That's it. Work out your aggressions just like the wild rams do.'

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

"We're making progress."

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'Our love life has become market-driven.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'