Lighting Genius T-Shirts

"I'm afraid Mr.Edison is too busy to discuss your idea with you at this time. Please call again, Mr Fluorescent."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

The Proust of Twitter

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

Artist and Musician

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's called geometry, Mum."

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Work colleague says 'This is great, where do you get your ideas from?' as man gets them from small elves living in the wall

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Welcome to Elmville "Home of the world's biggest pothole." The mayor sure knows how to make the best of a bad situation!

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Writer's Block Party

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."