Lighthearted Home Decor Lover Mugs

"Rule number 1 when handling sex toys: Never Use Helium in Inflatable Sex Dolls."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Bathroom Fairy

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Generic Store: Sign in Window

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

His & hers towels.

In case of funky emergency, break glass

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Pea green

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Derek was extremely pleased with his new piano stool...'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Mid-century Father

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

Missing sock

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

"That's still too high"