Lighthearted Historian Pillows

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

As a child, Young Moses could be a real jerk.

"You're on a what?!"

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

Sperm Whale.

Leonore from Fidelio

"Professor, this changes everything."

Plymouth Rock

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Dog History

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'We knew of your return from your round the world trip - we could smell you a mile away!'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

Stoned Henge

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'I had multiple personalities.'

"You look good for your age."

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

Commie Chef.

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

The curse of the Ancient Egyptians, Andrex puppies

"Well, if I'd been told you'd discovered fire I wouldn't have ordered it raw, would I?!"

Adam and Eve