Fun-loving Historian Pillows

The Trojan Horse poops alphabet blocks.

Archimedes statue with a lever

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"Let's have some fun kids, he says, let's play Easter Island."

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Leonore from Fidelio

Plymouth Rock

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Dog History

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"R.V. Lintel- Inventor of Polyroc

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

A caveman attempting to make a cart

Stoned Henge

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Mummy has set up a pulley system in his sarcophagus.

"You look good for your age."

Commie Chef.

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

Unexpected Help for the Colonists at the Boston Tea Party

The curse of the Ancient Egyptians, Andrex puppies

"Hydro density apparatus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

Adam and Eve

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Decision Points - by George W. Bush.

The Wonder Years: "I wonder where my keys are. I wonder why I came upstairs. I wonder why my pants are down..."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.