Lighthearted Dinner Debate Champion Pillows

'Not only do you get out of cooking tonight, but you found a place with a lazy chef too.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"You owe me five bucks."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Now that's a win."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"