Lighthearted Dinner Debate Champion Pillows

'Not only do you get out of cooking tonight, but you found a place with a lazy chef too.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"You owe me five bucks."

"Now that's a win."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

A young positivist.

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'