Light-hearted Dinner Host Pillows

Grace For Flies

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

In Desperate Straits.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"A little lamb please."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

Romantic Frogs

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"