Light Therapy Enthusiast Pillows

"It's for my depression. Go get your own."

"The interrogation was brutal, but the bright lights really helped relieve my seasonal affective disorder."

"Do I take it you're still suffering from SAD?"

"He read that these lights can help with depression..."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

X-ray Psychology.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.