Light Switch Jester Pillows

"Spin your partner round and round, then spin your partner round again, spin her round six more times, now touch the light switch near the door."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Yawning barristers in court

Tennis ball girl.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

Jumping Dogs

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'