Light-hearted Satirist Gifts

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

A street of old man bars.

COVID Era abbreviations

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Sock Puppet in Literature

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Daffodil bulbs

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"What are you doing?"