Light-hearted Competitor T-Shirts

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

6 Yard Dash with only three competitors.

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Danth battle?

The Unsportables: Relay

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

' Love and pole vault'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

Skateboard Olympics.

Basketball Players Working Together

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

"I'm feeling generous."

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

Tug the Toggle

"Foul!"

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'