Lift Strategist T-Shirts

"No, you come in on four."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"I like to stay on top of things."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

'Did your mother ever lift weights?'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

Holiday Luggage

'There you go, Jack, I saved you some space.'

Wearing all black

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"I see we're all going into this interview a little superstitious."

Workmen Lifting.

'Don't worry about the loss. At 143.75, if you gain 3 ounces, we can try for the light junior welter super bantam title.'

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"Too bad leaves can't replace salt for the roads each winter. It would save us a ton of money."

"Mind if we play through?"

"I'm looking for a diet that will guarantee my boss will gain the weight I lose.."

"Mini, midi, maxi. Maxi, midi, mini . . ."

'Oh, good. You found those books on weight lifting.'

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

With a cold, cold winter...how to lower your heating bill.

G20 Summit in Australia

“At this point, your only chance is to threaten him with legal action.”

'Mom, what are 'stairs' for?'