Lift Attendant T-Shirts

"How many times I got to ask you to go easy on the stops?"

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Fight or Flight

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Would you like some wings?"

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

A private jet takes off

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'Flight simulator'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

Vaccination Passport

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

"Folks, if you look out of your window at those clouds below, you'll have a nice view of the Grateful Dead dancing bears."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"You're never home."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'