Lifetime Explorer Mugs

A Pram becoming a wheelchair in a flow on money.

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'I wish I were your age again, and knew what I know now.'

"Great, now we're lost."

Midlife: You Are Here.

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"I'm afraid this whole experiment is about to go south."

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

How Presidential Eulogies Influence Future Funerals

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

Psychiatry. My dad doesn't appreciate how hard it is to follow in his footsteps

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

How?

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

"Your predecessor worked here for a very long time, so before you take over his office we're sending in an archaeologist to check it out."

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

The meaning of life...

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."