Lifesaver Pillows

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Lifesaver!

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

The grim reaper racing a lifeboat to reach a drowning man

"This is a teaching hospital."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

"The one time it's good to go with the flow."

"Of course being celibate, all my advice is second-hand via the internet..."

"These NHS types are ALWAYS complaining about SOMETHING!"

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

A surf lifesavers' joke.

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

'Good news and bad...good, we can use you as spare parts for other people...'

Double life.

Thank You...For Everything You Do.

"Does anyone know CPR?"

'Sounds like illegal immigrants.'

Paramedic

Prof. H. Heimlich - 'Sorry, the professor is out doing Heimlich maneuvers.'

Where The Ecologically Correct Meets The Pathologically Frugal

Why Do You Want to Be When You Grow up?

"I can't decide if I want to grow up to be a pediatric heart surgeon or a celebrity chef."

Very Busy Practice.

"The doctors never gave up."

'Hang in there, buddy! I know CPR!'

"I can't swim! Would ten dollars help?"

"I don't want to alarm anyone, but is there a librarian on board?"

'Stre-e-e-e-tch-her?'