Life Stories Pillows

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

"You may not believe it, but seventeen short years ago, I had yet to touch my first drop of liquor."

Love at First Sight

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Silence of the Chickens...

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Quantum Psychic

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Moby Dick

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Tooth fairy

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."