Life Stories Pillows

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

"You may not believe it, but seventeen short years ago, I had yet to touch my first drop of liquor."

Love at First Sight

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Silence of the Chickens...

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Quantum Psychic

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Moby Dick

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Tooth fairy

Life and Death