Life's Mysteries Seeker Pillows

"This is nothing like my near death experience."

Pastorius wonders why.

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

Formula.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

Department of Philosophy. Free Why-Fi.

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Philosophy Dept: Are you really here?

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

Doctor looks at books under the genre 'Stuff they never taught you in medical school'.

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

Frequently Asked Questions

"Remember, dogs go woof! Just as long as you can get enough petrol on them."

"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"

'I'm leaving, I want to see the world. I can't stay here and spend my life watching grass grow!'

Unusual Retirement Plans

'Tunnel of tough love'

"Johnny, strikes out, and will be thinking about this well into his thirties."

"Where did I come from?"

"I used to live each dray to the fullest. Now I'm satisfied with every other Tuesday."

'When you grow, your salary is your report card.'

Boy, Interrupted.

"I know you think I'm tough on you now, son. But you'il be much better prepared for life when I disinherit you."

Having an open mind is not to be confused with a hole in the head.

"On the other hand, you learn through failure."

“Holy smokes, Larry! It’s Bigfoot and Jimmy Hoffa!”

'Sure, I could grant those three wishes, but I believe you'll appreciate the value of health, love and money much more if you continue not having them.'

Beware of High Tide

A great day starts when you weigh 2lbs. less than you thought you would.

'Birds and bears, bulls and bees- I can't keep it all straight'

'...All the really cool stuff is way deeper in the woods.'