Life's Joker T-Shirts

"At random IS the plan..."

Work/Life Balance

Intelligent people laugh too!

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Early photobombing

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'...a variety of local wildlife very close to the campsite.'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Revenge had come.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

Party Schools...

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Good book?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Skywriter's Block

Children.

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'