Life Lesson Collector T-Shirts

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

It's smart never to forget your amnesia.

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

'What did you learn at university today?'

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'Remember, Junior, if at first you don't succeed...come up with a good exit strategy.'

"Does school really help people with real life?"

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

Trending wise.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

"What is this telling us? Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

He who hesitates is five miles past his exit.

People with anything valuable to say rarely become orators.

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'