Life Form Designer Gifts

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Gardener

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

The Pink Bantha

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Phoenix

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

Weeds

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

David Hockney

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

A Scene From 'Henry V'.

David Hockney

'Nice smile.'

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

Flower sniffer

"It's redesigned to handle rolling over."

Hedge Car

"How long do they live? Watering them is costing us a fortune."

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

David Hockney