Life Expectancy Enthusiast Pillows

"Good news is that as mayflies we don't need to think about retirement plans!"

Reach for the Star.

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

That's Seven in Human Years

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

'Normally, I'd give a man in your condition six months to live, but we have a special this week on eight months!'

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!