Life After Work Gifts

Happy Retirement

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Working Holiday

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

Temporarily Unavailable

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Pizza time.

Planned service changes

"So that's what it means to unwind before dinner."

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

My boss is a real turd.

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

"I'm working my way through obedience school."

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

Peaceful holiday

'I'm taking a year off to just migrate.'

The Smug Unemployed Monkey

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"

"This is the best news."

Senior executive holding guitar hitchiking on open road in desert landscape.

'If I'd known it was this easy, I'd have hit the escape key long ago.'

"That's Suzy, my personal assistant: I was getting way too busy..."

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'