Life After Work Gifts

Happy Retirement

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Working Holiday

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

Temporarily Unavailable

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Pizza time.

Planned service changes

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

"So that's what it means to unwind before dinner."

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

My boss is a real turd.

It is a little odd, I have come to a place completely off the grid to recharge my batteries.

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

The Smug Unemployed Monkey

Peaceful holiday

'I'm taking a year off to just migrate.'

"I'm working my way through obedience school."

"This is the best news."

'If I'd known it was this easy, I'd have hit the escape key long ago.'

Senior executive holding guitar hitchiking on open road in desert landscape.

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"That's Suzy, my personal assistant: I was getting way too busy..."