Letters And Numbers Pillows

"Well, that explains why you're having trouble falling asleep, honey. Those are 2's."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The Life of Pi

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Maths is fun!'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Santa called but you were out!

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Warning: Math Ahead!

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Pi fight!

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Reign Man

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Homeless count.

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"