Letters Aficionado T-Shirts

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

Edgar Allen Poe

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

How a poet works

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Friedrich Schiller

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Library