Letter Detective Pillows

Warning! D Not Open This Letter

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Santa called but you were out!

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

The evidence destroyed

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Bibliomaniac

Mysteries.

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Literary rain

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.