Lethargy Enthusiast Pillows

"You know... if we don't find some ambition we could find ourselves still just laying around years from now." "Sounds good to me!"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Get crazy once in a while

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Magic Tricks

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Inkwell Genie.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

King and Jester

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I got a banana peel to slip on. What did you get?"

"You taught me to laugh again!"

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."