Lesson Plan Maestro Gifts

'First off, always identify and corral the ring leader...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"The meeting will come to order."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Who called this meeting again?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'