Lesson Innovator Gifts

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Edison: The Early Years,

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'Home Schooling'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

Technologies and distance classes

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

Welcome to your new English Class.

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

I don't get the 5 paragraph essay. Do and outline. Topic. 3 examples. Conclusion. Ok. " 5 Graf Essay Stinks." Click click click. "2 long." Tap tap tap. "2 boring." "2 over." "#5grafmustdie." Thanks, Nana. It's a breakthrough! The 5-paragraph tweet!

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

'I hate these cliche situations!'

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

Education Plan

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

Thoughts on Education.

"I asked the parents to get involved more and now they're home-schooling."

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

Looking inside the internal maze,

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'