Legal Trouble Pillows

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Bailiff."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"They're class action figures."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Another slander suit!"

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

Justice