Legal Thrill-seeker Gifts

Lawyer-Country Safari

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'We can be on the ground and suing in no time!'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'Time to buy.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"Dow's up!"

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Swinging through the jungle.

Jeff Sessions

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

Tunnel of Workaholics

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

'This is Adventure Capital! You want Venture Capital two doors down.'

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'He's chasing the market.'

Economic

'Don't jump Pumroy! Just remember: today's frantic selling can quickly become tomorrow's frantic buying.'

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

Grexit

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

Profit Cowboy

'Aren't corporate raiders getting increasingly aggressive?'

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'