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'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"Bailiff."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

The hour of justice

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"