Legal Reform Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Wormhole Aliens Killed Sandra Bland

'I suppose it's no worse than the smogs of the 1950's.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Healthcare declaration

Violent Crime Statistics

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Baby's first words.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice