Legal Pun Collector T-Shirts

'This is a very important trial, Ferguson -- you'd better put pants on.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Beanirrito"

Fist Bumper Cars

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Tequila Mockingbird

Ms. Rusmore

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

This man is an island.

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'It's a snow mobile.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

Racketeer

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Bell Hop

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

Artichoking victim

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

"Unplug and chill out."

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop